I Live in a Slug World
For those of you who don't know, I live in Northern Virginia and work in Washington, DC. Therefore, I have to commute daily to work. My daily commute round trip is usually 2.5-3 hours, depending on the traffic situation. Due to traffic constraints, I "slug" to work.
Slugging: a term used to describe a unique form of commuting found in the Washington, DC area sometimes referred to as "Instant Carpooling" or "Organized Hitchhiking". Commuters get to work by accepting a ride from a stranger who requires one or more extra passengers to legally qualify to drive in a high occupancy vehicle lane (HOV-3). Drivers pick up slugs at designated "slug lines", usually at commuter parking lots and bus stops. No money is exchanged in this type of commuting; both parties are mutually benefited.
It has come to my attention that there are many categories of Slugs and Drivers. Here is what I have witnessed in my 3 months of being a slug:
Slug Drivers-
The Anti-Social: driver who does not speak to slugs, only acknowledges their presence. Usually leaves the radio station on one station, has temperature settings at a consistent level.
The Talker: social driver. Starts conversation with slug seated in passenger seat, tries to get back passenger into the conversation. Usually changes the radio station frequently, and asks the slugs if they are comfortable with the car settings.
The Anal-Retentive: much like the Anti-Social, but adheres to all driving regulations and unofficial slugging etiquette. If slug does not adhere to etiquette, driver becomes noticeably irritated, but does not speak to the slug about the behavior.
The butt-clenched Anal-Retentive Bitch: much like the Anal-Retentive, but when etiquette is not adhered to, driver barks orders at slug until they adhere. Tries to demean slug as a way to teach a lesson. [Ex: Driver-"Do not touch my air vents." "I will not leave until ALL seat belts are buckled"]
The Evangelist: driver who listens to Christian talk/contemporary Christian rock radio at a exceedingly loud level. An attempt to convert slugs in the car to "come to Jesus".
The Politician: much like the Evangelist, driver listens to political talk radio and tries to converse with slugs regarding controversial political issues. Driver attempts to have live political debate in the car. Slug most likely arrives to destination feeling offended.
The Unaware Deaftone: driver who keeps radio fade to the rear speakers of the car. Increases volume of the radio so that he/she can hear it. Deafens the slug in the back seat due to loud volume. Slug then suffers from ear ringing, headache, and possibly loss of hearing.
The Most Popular: driver who has the most popular of everything. Best car. Best radio. Best clothes. Driver tries to talk to slugs, but is frequently interrupted by his/her cell phone calls, blackberry pages, and text messages. Carries multiple conversations at one time. Radio at constant loud level of popular music. Unsafe driver, slugs are lucky to get to destination in one piece.
The Old Man/Old Lady: driver who stays at a constant speed throughout the trip. Whether it's in a 65 or 35 zone, you can count on the driver going 30 mph. Slug arrives to destination 45 minutes to 1 hour later than expected.
The Revealer: much like the Talker, driver reveals very personal information to slugs. [Ex: Driver- "I had to go to the morgue and identify my daughter's burnt body". This conversation really happened to me]. Slug arrives at destination screaming "TMI!".
Slugs can get very lucky and get a combination of any of the drivers listed above. As you can see, the Anti-social or the Talker are the most preferable of all drivers.
Slugs-
The Living Statue: slug who does not move while in car. Does not speak to either driver or passenger/slug. Greets drivers with "Hello" at the beginning of trip and "Thank you" at the end of the trip. Adheres to all unofficial slugging etiquette. Will "deal" with all car controls (ie, temp, volume, seat position) regardless of how uncomfortable he/she is.
The Talker: slug who either initiates or responds to driver conversation. Adheres to slug etiquette. Asks permission for changes in temperature, radio station, and seat position.
The Rule Breaker: slug who breaks all rules (unofficial slug etiquette). Talks on cell phone, touches all car controls, eats in car, does not buckle seat belt. Can cause irritation in driver and other slug/passenger. May result in driver becoming a butt-clenching Anal-Retentive Bitch (see above).
Personally, I am a cross between a Living Statue and a Talker, depending on the day.
I come across most of the personalities on a daily basis. Don't you wish you were me?
Slugging: a term used to describe a unique form of commuting found in the Washington, DC area sometimes referred to as "Instant Carpooling" or "Organized Hitchhiking". Commuters get to work by accepting a ride from a stranger who requires one or more extra passengers to legally qualify to drive in a high occupancy vehicle lane (HOV-3). Drivers pick up slugs at designated "slug lines", usually at commuter parking lots and bus stops. No money is exchanged in this type of commuting; both parties are mutually benefited.
It has come to my attention that there are many categories of Slugs and Drivers. Here is what I have witnessed in my 3 months of being a slug:
Slug Drivers-
The Anti-Social: driver who does not speak to slugs, only acknowledges their presence. Usually leaves the radio station on one station, has temperature settings at a consistent level.
The Talker: social driver. Starts conversation with slug seated in passenger seat, tries to get back passenger into the conversation. Usually changes the radio station frequently, and asks the slugs if they are comfortable with the car settings.
The Anal-Retentive: much like the Anti-Social, but adheres to all driving regulations and unofficial slugging etiquette. If slug does not adhere to etiquette, driver becomes noticeably irritated, but does not speak to the slug about the behavior.
The butt-clenched Anal-Retentive Bitch: much like the Anal-Retentive, but when etiquette is not adhered to, driver barks orders at slug until they adhere. Tries to demean slug as a way to teach a lesson. [Ex: Driver-"Do not touch my air vents." "I will not leave until ALL seat belts are buckled"]
The Evangelist: driver who listens to Christian talk/contemporary Christian rock radio at a exceedingly loud level. An attempt to convert slugs in the car to "come to Jesus".
The Politician: much like the Evangelist, driver listens to political talk radio and tries to converse with slugs regarding controversial political issues. Driver attempts to have live political debate in the car. Slug most likely arrives to destination feeling offended.
The Unaware Deaftone: driver who keeps radio fade to the rear speakers of the car. Increases volume of the radio so that he/she can hear it. Deafens the slug in the back seat due to loud volume. Slug then suffers from ear ringing, headache, and possibly loss of hearing.
The Most Popular: driver who has the most popular of everything. Best car. Best radio. Best clothes. Driver tries to talk to slugs, but is frequently interrupted by his/her cell phone calls, blackberry pages, and text messages. Carries multiple conversations at one time. Radio at constant loud level of popular music. Unsafe driver, slugs are lucky to get to destination in one piece.
The Old Man/Old Lady: driver who stays at a constant speed throughout the trip. Whether it's in a 65 or 35 zone, you can count on the driver going 30 mph. Slug arrives to destination 45 minutes to 1 hour later than expected.
The Revealer: much like the Talker, driver reveals very personal information to slugs. [Ex: Driver- "I had to go to the morgue and identify my daughter's burnt body". This conversation really happened to me]. Slug arrives at destination screaming "TMI!".
Slugs can get very lucky and get a combination of any of the drivers listed above. As you can see, the Anti-social or the Talker are the most preferable of all drivers.
Slugs-
The Living Statue: slug who does not move while in car. Does not speak to either driver or passenger/slug. Greets drivers with "Hello" at the beginning of trip and "Thank you" at the end of the trip. Adheres to all unofficial slugging etiquette. Will "deal" with all car controls (ie, temp, volume, seat position) regardless of how uncomfortable he/she is.
The Talker: slug who either initiates or responds to driver conversation. Adheres to slug etiquette. Asks permission for changes in temperature, radio station, and seat position.
The Rule Breaker: slug who breaks all rules (unofficial slug etiquette). Talks on cell phone, touches all car controls, eats in car, does not buckle seat belt. Can cause irritation in driver and other slug/passenger. May result in driver becoming a butt-clenching Anal-Retentive Bitch (see above).
Personally, I am a cross between a Living Statue and a Talker, depending on the day.
I come across most of the personalities on a daily basis. Don't you wish you were me?
posted by Mel at 8:50 AM
8 Comments:
It's like a mini-adventure every day!
I really enjoyed reading this post! It was quite funny and had me laughing out loud. I even read the unofficial slug etiquette from your link, but I still have a question: Why is it okay (although unsafe) for drivers to talk on cell phones, but rude for slugs to do the same?
Tao, haven't seen you in a while; glad you are back!
I'm not sure why this is. I think it may have to do with the "no talking" rule. I know that it has been annoying for me when the other slug/passenger talks on the cell phone - mostly I just want quiet time to sleep or wind down. Personally, I think it is rude when a driver talks on a cell phone too, but it's their car and they are the ones driving. So, they get to do what they want (ex: pick radio station, roll up/down windows, drive as fast/slow as they want, adjust temp, and talk on cell phone) regardless of how rude or offensive.
Kinda a double standard, but I'm not going to complain. I am thankful for the free ride to work - I'm not about to bite the hand that feeds me!
Thanks for the welcome back, Mel! I have been reading all of your posts, even though I haven't been responding. I think I've been going through a quiet and introverted time because of stress at work and at home. I think some cosmic event has recently occured and turned all husbands into raving lunatics. :)
And thanks for the cell phone explanation...that does make sense!
2.5 hours a day in the car? Ugh!
Tao, so sorry to hear your having a rough time. Yes, you are right about the lunatic husbands. Maybe the cosmic event was that comet that just got blown up? Or collective Male PMS? I'm not sure, but I hope that things will get back to normal soon. Anyhow, glad you are out of your silence shell - we blogettes have missed your witty comments!
Sass, yes 2.5 hours. Usually more. And I work 10.5 hours a day. Being away from home for 12+ hours a day is grueling, but I am learning to deal. What is your average commute time? Wait, nevermind... I don't think I want to know.
Funny you shuld have this as today's topic - look who joined me for lunch today:
my friend
hi...came across your blog through kiki`s.
interesting blog! will keep reading :).
and i`m not sure whether to be happy or sad there isn`t a slug trend in my country.
yet!
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