Wedded Bliss...

Extreme Makeover: Mel's Life

2005-10-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

I've had a lot going on in my life recently, as I am sure some of my "avid listeners" can tell. I'm doing fine, for those who care. I will make it through this rough time a stronger, more beautiful person.

In the mean time, I'm going through a "demolition and reconstruction" phase... of my blog, my marriage, and my life.

Look in the next day or two for my new place, as I have changed a few addresses lately. And don't worry, I'll explain all once I get there.

UPDATE: Wedded Bliss is now closed for business.
Want to find me? Email mseekfor@gmail.com
or go to www.oceanofreality.blogspot.com

Mel's Name Change Kit

2005-10-07T14:17:00.000-04:00

I think these were left out of the 'official' Name Change kit:

1. PORN STAR NAME: Lizzy Felsted (name of first pet + street you live on)

2. MOVIE STAR NAME: Amelia Snyders, after Snyder's Pretzels. (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack)

3. FASHION DESIGNER NAME: Hokie Jake. I LOVE Jake's in Old Town Manassas! (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant)

4. SOCIALITE NAME: DeeDee Livengood. I learned the fine art of beer pong at Paul Livengood's house in high school. (silliest childhood nickname + first place where you partied)

5. "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: M-Mul. yeah, that just doesn't sound right. (first initial + first three letters of your last name)

6. DETECTIVE NAME: Kitty Osbourn. Has a nice ring, doesn't it? (favorite animal + name of high school)

7. BAR-FLY NAME: Cheeto Especial, after Jose Cuervo Especial:) (last snack food you ate + your favorite drink)

8. SOAP OPERA NAME: Dawn Gordon. Oh yeah. This one really works. (middle name + street where you first lived)

9. ROCK STAR NAME: Twizzler Matthews. But it better be strawberry flavored, none of that original stuff. (favorite candy + favorite musicians last name)

10. OPPOSITE SEX NAME: Ari Verizon. I just realized that almost ALL of my blog friends are women! It's been forever since I commented on a guy's site! (name of [opposite sex] last friend that you commented + cell phone company you use)

11. STAR WARS NAME: Mulean Beaman. Ok, that's just f*ed up. (first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live)

Inspired by Danielle. So much fun. Wanna play?

2005-10-06T08:06:00.000-04:00

Last night, Hubby and I went to buy a stand for the new TV that we purchased earlier this week. After a few days of deliberations, we finally agreed on a model that suited our tastes. After buying the stand, we headed over to the Merchandise Pick-up area.

Surprise! NOT fully assembled. This could be a problem.

You see, my husband isn't the greatest when it comes to following directions. One time he asked me how much milk to add to Mac-n-Cheese, to which I replied "read the box". Long story short, the Mac-n-Cheese didn't get made.

So, we bring the stand home and open the box. I watch as Hubby unloads the pieces and takes out the instructions. After looking at the first page, he responds "Holy shit". He asks for my help putting the stand together. I sit down on the floor, surrounded by wood pieces and screws, and start to look at the instructions.

After a few minutes into the project, things seem to be going smoothly. I tell Hubby what goes where, place nut here, hammer bolt there... put your right hand in, put your right hand out (Hokie Pokie! That's what it's all about!). I can't believe it, but it's actually starting to look like a TV stand.

We have a few small mishaps, for which we have to back up a couple of steps and take a few things apart, but all-in-all, it went very smoothly. 30 minutes later, we have a fully assembled stand.

When it's all said and done, Hubby comments "Wow. We did it. And we didn't fight AT ALL!"

Now that's love, people.

Sign of the Apocalypse

2005-10-05T16:37:00.000-04:00

STOP THE PRESSES!

TomKat is officially pregnant.

Holy shit, I think I am going to vomit.

Tell me what it means

2005-10-04T16:03:00.000-04:00

"Did you read my last post?
"I can't remember. I think I did."
"The one about how Buster can respond to commands now?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Really? Well, let me tell you..."
[doggie talk] "Ohhhh, aren't you just the proud puppy mommy? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

What am I supposed to think when my best friend mocks me for bragging about my dog?

Sit, Ubu, Sit. Good dog.

2005-09-30T09:28:00.000-04:00

I have the smartest freakin' dog ever. His intelligence amazes me.

To date, he has learned to sit, shake, give high five and high ten, lay down, and stay.

That's 6 commands. And he's only 12 weeks old.

Not only that, but he has figured out how to break out of "doggie prison" (baby gated kitchen). He was also used his incredible powers of deduction to push his crate next to the bed so that he has a step to jump up into the bed.

Shoulda named him Lassie. I think I'm going to enroll him into the police academy.

I swear, if I gave him a sudoku puzzle, he'd have it solved in 30 seconds.

In case you were wondering...

2005-09-29T08:44:00.000-04:00

For once, a real update on what going on in the life of Wedded Bliss.

Actually, I'm having a really hard time right now. I can't get into the details, but please know that I am here, still alive and still breathing.

I'm getting through, one day at a time.

One thing I have learned from my brother's death is that I CAN make it though anything. And just like before, I will make it though this rough patch a stronger person than before.

It helps to know that there are people out there that love and care for me. I found myself reading through my old yearbooks, just to remember that there were people out there that thought I was a great person. I was once a beautiful person, not tainted by reality and depression. I want to be that person again. For my husband's sake, for my family's sake, for my friend's sake, but most of all for ME.

My coping mechanism? SARCASM

Let the trash talking begin

2005-09-28T11:55:00.000-04:00

As we are playing rivals WVU this weekend, and I am in a particular trash talking mood, here is some Hokie Humor for your enjoyment...

George Welsh after many years at the helm of UVA football, passed away. He was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. "George, you've been a pretty good guy and we've got a place all ready for you," says St. Peter. He takes Coach Welsh by the arm and leads him into Heaven. They are walking down a street paved with gold with magnificent homes on either side. After a little while, they turn into a little bit lesser impressive neighborhood, and then into a pretty non-descript neighborhood and finally stop in front of small bungalow on a back street. The house has an old picket fence around it, some bare spots in the lawn, rather frayed curtains in the windows, and a roof that could use some repair. Hanging from the front porch is a somewhat tattered UVA banner. "Here it is," says St. Peter. Coach Welsh looks around and then sees a magnificent mansion up on a hill. The drive way is paved with gold. The fence is made from silver with alabaster columns. The windows are trimmed in maroon and orange. Members of the Virginia Tech Corps of Cadets guard the gates. A huge Virginia Tech banner flys from a flag pole. George grimmaces and says,
"How come Frank Beamer has such a magnificent home and I get this shabby little bungalow?"
St. Peter replies, "That's not Frank's house, it's God's."

A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear a good UVA joke. "Listen buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on your left? They were both lineman on the UVa football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at UVA. That guy in the corner was UVA's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at UVA. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"
"Nah, guess not," the man replied, "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."

A man from WVU, UVA, and TECH are all standing in the restroom taking care of business. The man from UVA finishes first. He shakes, zips up and heads to the sink. He uses an obscene amount of soap to wash his hands and pulls all kinds of paper towels to dry them. He goes on to say, "At UVA they teach us to be really clean."
Just about that time, the man from WVU finishes. he shakes, zips up and heads to the sink. He only uses a little bit of soap to wash his hands, and only one paper towel to dry. He says, "At WVU they teach us to be clean, but economical."
At that time the man from Tech finishes his business. He shakes, zips up and just walks out the bathroom. He says, "At TECH, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

There's a guy from UVA (Wahoo) driving from Charlottesville to Blacksburg, and a guy from Va Tech (Hokie) driving from Blacksburg to Charlottesville. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.
The Hokie manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!".
Likewise the Wahoo scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Wahoo walks over to the Hokie and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals."
The Hokie thinks for a moment and says, "You know you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck." So the Hokie pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Wahoo, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The Wahoo says, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Wahoo hands it back to the Hokie and says, "Your turn!"
The Hokie twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

God is a Hokie

2005-09-27T09:20:00.000-04:00

"I don't know what a Hokie is, but GOD is one of them" -Lee Corso, College GameDay

Virginia Tech is #3!

Georgia Tech didn't stand a chance. Result: 51-7 win for the Hokies!

Pics from College GameDay and Georgia Tech game

I'm smelling ROSES!

Don't get too close...

2005-09-22T07:29:00.000-04:00

Gross - another head cold. Been feeling bad all week :(

My husband has been gone since Monday. Went home to Indiana to visit his oldest sister, who had surgery on Tuesday. He will be back sometime this weekend, depending on sis-in-law's recovery.

I'm alone, sick, and have to take care of a 11-week old puppy. He got me up every 2 hours last night: 10pm, 12am, 2am, and 4am.

So, I'm tired, sick, and lonely. Ugh, is it the weekend yet?

Excuse the absence. I'll catch up with everyone next week. Thanks for letting me gripe and whine.

*Aaachooo!*

Virginia Tech Weekend

2005-09-19T07:52:00.000-04:00

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

The best weekend EVER.

I feel like a kid on Christmas...

2005-09-16T08:06:00.000-04:00

This is the start of a AWESOME weekend.

(And I don't use the word 'awesome' lightly)

I'm going back to my alma mater, VIRGINIA TECH, for the weekend!

Saturday we host the first home game of the season, against Ohio.

Being the first home game, the campus is going to be electric. You will be able to FEEL the spirit in the air, the intensity all around you. Sounds of screaming fans and matching bands, smells of hamburgers and hotdogs roasting at the tailgates, and enough MAROON and ORANGE to color all the leaves in Virginia for the fall!

My first experience to a Virginia Tech football game was in early September of 1999, against JMU. I was a freshman, and had moved onto campus only days before. The excitement was that it was Michael Vick's first collegiate football game, and everyone was anticipating seeing the new star on the field. The feeling the the stadium was nothing like I had ever felt before. There was electricity in the stands. I can't explain it, other than it was one of the most awesome experiences of my life up to that point. A few minutes into the game, we watched Vick dance around the opponent's defense and run towards the end zone. He wasn't fast; he was agile and swift. As he ran through the end zone, a defender took out his legs. He flew up in the air, did a somersault, and landed on the back of his head and neck.

SILENCE.

You could hear a pin drop. Everyone was concerned with his well being as trainers ran out on the field. Was he going to be alright? After 5 minutes, he was able to stand, but was still carried off the field. Angered with the bad play, Tech came off the sidelines and crucified the visitors. If I can remember correctly, we walked away from that game with a score of 47-0.

And thus started my obsession with Virginia Tech football.

But the best part about this weekend is that it's GIRLS WEEKEND! My best friend, Christine, and I are going down together. Last time I was with Chris at Tech, we were both freshman and I was dating ZH. So, needless to say, we weren't (we meaning I) as crazy and fun we are today. I am so excited to tear up Tech with my bestest friend!!!!!! Watch out Blacksburg, the Crazy Girls are on their way!

Hokie House and TOTS, here we come!

LET'S GO HOKIES!!!

...Baby One More Time

2005-09-15T07:59:00.000-04:00

UPDATE: They named him Sean Preston.

No new post today, as I am ~~mourning~~ celebrating the birth of the Federspawn.

Welcome to the world, Baby Boy Spears-Federline. I feel oh-so very sorry for you.

The Ex Factor

2005-09-14T08:53:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about my Ex a lot recently. I'm not sure why. Maybe because football season has started. Maybe because the new college semester has started, and all I can think about it that beautiful VT campus in southwest Virginia. Maybe it's because I was recently informed that his Dad just wrote a book. Maybe it's all of the above.

Four years ago, I met my Hubby. When we met, I was dating the ex, ZH, for almost 3 years. I was going into my junior year; he had just graduated from Tech and was off to graduate school at Radford (just a few miles from Tech). ZH was preoccupied with his new life as a grad student and his career, and I was starting to notice that he didn't have a place for me in his plans. When he had gotten an apartment, I casually brought up the fact that we could save some money by moving in together at some point. WRONG MOVE. He was furious. There was no way he wanted to move in with me. (Even though he had frequently told me that he wanted to marry me...?) And by his reaction, I could see that we didn't have a future together.

A few days later, I met Hubby. It didn't take me long to fall head over heals for him.

In the meantime, I had to break the news to ZH. I didn't want to tell him about Hubby. It took a long night of discussion over the phone with him about how I wanted him to move on, enjoy his life in grad school, and not worry about me. I didn't want to have an effect on his career. I wanted to be free, as well. I knew that I would hold him back from what he wanted to accomplish in his life, and he knew it also, but didn't want to face it.

ZH found out about Hubby when he came by my room the first night back to school that semester. I had two dozen roses sitting on my desk, and he instantly knew that another man had given them to me. I explained that I was dating another person, and he should be doing the same. I don't remember much of what was said that night, but I do remember that he asked me if he could stay the night. I asked him politely if he wouldn't.

A week or so passed. Then, 9/11 happened. I immediately rushed home to be with my family. When I returned home about 5 days later, my roommate had told me that he had called me quite a few times over the last few days. There was a solemn voice mail from him on our phone. He really wanted to talk to me. He needed to talk to me. So, being a coward, I instant messaged him. I was taken aback when he was rude and callous. ZH said that he really needed to talk to me and why hadn't I called? I explained that I had gone home for a few days. He didn't like my excuse, or didn't believe it.

A few days later, I received a package in the mail. At first, I thought it was from Hubby, so I opened it. Inside was a short letter stating "Here are all of your things back", or something along those lines.

Pictures of us. A card I had given him. Little mementos of our relationship. I am thumbing through it all in slight confusion - Why would he send me all this? Why didn't he just throw it away? And then, I reach the last item.

My brother's obituary. Cut from the paper 2 years before.

At first, I was shocked. Then I got angry. Really angry. The nerve! He sent me back my brother's obit, like I didn't remember he died? Like I had to be reminded? What an ass! It wasn't like this was a trinket of memory from our relationship. This was a slap in the face. And I was pissed.

A few months after the incident, I threw away everything he had sent back to me, except the obit. I don't know why. I think it would feel like I was throwing a piece of my brother away.

Today, I'm still scorned from this. Who, with any shred of decency and character, would send that back to their ex? I understand the pictures and cards, but my brother's funeral announcement? Seriously?

Can anyone explain this to me?

For Kris

2005-09-14T07:01:00.000-04:00

kris said...
Oh don't you feel bad about it! They are awesome!
At least you didn't put up another pic of one of those damn turkeys . . .
wuh?
4:56 PM, September 13, 2005

Um, you mean like this?

#4, baby!

Let's go HOKIES!

All About...

2005-09-13T14:37:00.000-04:00

Visit Bear, Val, and Buster!

I am totally one of those people who will treat their pets like babies.

It's ok. I'm feeling a bit nauseous about it myself.

Can you say "Blowout"?

2005-09-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

How 'bout them Hokies!

#7 VT vs Duke. Outcome: 45-0 WIN

AP and USA Today College Football Poll:
Hokies ranked #4 !!!

I smell Roses!

I got nothin'

2005-09-09T10:50:00.000-04:00

It's been a crazy week of sorts. Lot of things running through my mind. I am feeling very blue. I think a lot of people are feeling that way, what with all the horrific pictures from the gulf coast coming at us from every angle. It's hard not to feel depressed for them, for our country.

And then there is just the general day-to-day reasons to feel down, stressed, and out of control.

And waking up to a pee-soaked dog, yeah that just sucks. The fact that I had to get up at 3am this morning to bathe Buster doesn't really help the situation. And of course, I couldn't go back to sleep.

Ugh, I just want this week over.

So, yeah, that's it. I got nothin'.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Oh, yeah... And Happy Friday.

Missing you, Little Bro

2005-09-08T07:30:00.000-04:00

Inspired by Kris.

I haven't revealed this in blogland before yesterday, so please bear with me.

My brother committed suicide.

May 19, 1999. He was 15 years old.

I don't know why, and I am still coming to terms with the fact that I will never know exactly why.

All I know was that he hid his sadness very well. Know one knew he was depressed. Not until after he ended his life.

I was 18 years old when he passed away. I was exactly one month from graduating high school and 3 months from going to college. Needless to say, this tragedy changed my life. In college, I was active in researching causes of suicide in teenagers. I wanted to find answers, but all I found was more questions.

Senior year, I did a presentation on adolescent suicide. It was received by my professor and peers very well. And it inspired me to tell people about suicide. Educate them on the causes, and tell them my story.

I don't want what happened to my family to happen to anyone else.

So, please, if you are feeling sad, worthless, and depressed, it's ok to get help.

It very well might save your life.

http://www.depressionhelp.com/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

BB6 for you fans out there

2005-09-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

I didn't realize there were other Big Brother fan out in blogland! How exciting! :)

Confession time: I am a Big Brother FANATIC. I've been watching the live video feeds and read daily updates from other feedster sites (www.hamsterwatch.com) all season.

Ok, these are my predicitons:
Tonight, Ivette will be the tie braker vote. She will cast out April (surprise!) Janelle will win HOH.
Final 4, baby! Obviously, she will nominate Maggie and Ivette, Maggie will go home because Janey or Howie have a better chance (if in the final 2) against Ivette.
Final 3, Howie wins HOH, evicts Ivette.

BB6 winner predicition:
Jennifer will vote for Howie to win.
Rachel will vote for Howie.
Beau will vote for Howie.
James will vote for Janey.
April will vote for Howie.
Maggie will vote for Howie.
Ivette will vote for Howie.

The force is strong, and Howie wins BB6.

Jedi Howie, you are a beefcake!

(But, I really want Janey to win!)

Here's the meme, calm down

2005-09-07T11:00:00.000-04:00

For Kim, cause she went a little nuts at the end of hers...

Name as it appears on birth certificate: Melissa Dawn

Nicknames: Mel, Mis, Swiss Mis. If you call me Missy, I'll cut you.

Place of Birth: Manassas, Virginia. Just think Bobbitt.

Favorite food: I just about die for any meal homemade by my Mom or Dad. Especially Thanksgiving dinner.

Ever been to Africa: No. But I have been to Mexico.

Love someone so much it hurts: It wouldn't be love if you didn't hurt once in a while.

Been in a car accident: Yes. And having an airbag go off in my face was one of the scariest moments of my life.

Croutons or bacon bits: Croutons on salad, bacon bits on baked potato

Favorite day of the week: Every other Monday. My RDO (Regular Day Off). Benefit of working for the government, work 9 hour days and get a 3 day weekend every other week.

Favorite restaurant: On the Border. Best margaritas EVER.

Favorite sport to watch: Virginia Tech Football. GO HOKIES!

Favorite drink for summer: Frozen Raspberry Long Island Iced Tea

Winter: Jack and Ginger. My Dad and I have a tradition of drinking one every Christmas morning together.

Favorite ice cream: Starbucks Java Chip

Disney or Warner Bros: Disney. I can recite "Aladdin" word for word.

Favorite fast food: Taco Bell. Sweet, sweet Taco Bell.

What Color is your bedroom carpet: Does it matter? Do you really care? If so, it's beige.

How many times did you fail your driver's test: Zero. Only missed one question.

From whom did you get your last e-mail: Drugstore.com auto response. I sent a email to them wondering WHERE THE HELL my Aug 20th order was.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Super Target.

What do you do most often when you are bored: Bored? Are you serious? Don't know the meaning since we got Buster. Has to be watched 24/7. Don't get a minute's peace.

What time is Bedtime: Was 9, now more like 10 or 11, since Buster can't hold it more than 6 hours...

Favorite TV shows: The Office, Desperate Housewives, Big Brother 6 (shut up, it's awesome)
Last person/s you went to dinner with: My Grandma for her 80th birthday

Ford or Chevy: We own a Ford Taurus and a Ford Ranger. You be the judge.

What are you listening to right now: Dave Matthews "Before These Crowded Streets". Oldie, but a goodie.

What is your favorite color: Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange GO HOKIES!

Lake, ocean or river: ALL THREE! If I had to pick one, it would be Lake, so I could ride my jet ski

How many tattoos do you have? None yet. As soon as I reach goal weight.

Have you ever run out of gas: Nope. But I may soon, since gas is close to $3.50 a gallon!

A slug no more

2005-09-07T08:50:00.000-04:00

As of yesterday, I am no longer a slug.

I have discovered the fine art of riding the train.

With gas prices soaring well above $3.50 a gallon, and the fact that my car broke down on Friday, I had to find another option to get to work. As Hubby took me to the slug line on Tuesday morning (making himself late for work), he mentioned the fact that the VRE may be a cost effective option.

I looked into it yesterday morning, and in the afternoon I took the train home.

Cost effectiveness: if gas prices stay at $3.50, savings of $20-40 a month.
Time Savings: about an hour of commuting. The train station is only a mile from our house. How much does your free time cost?
Precious sleep time: 2 hours.

Downside: The train sat on the tracks this morning for 45 minutes. Without moving. Damn you, Amtrak.

So, I was 30 minutes late for work. Murr.

But, I did get an extra hour of sleep this morning.

Pros are definitely outweighing the cons at this point.

Please Help

2005-09-06T10:34:00.000-04:00

Please, I can't take anymore...

2005-09-06T10:02:00.000-04:00

I can't see another picture of the destruction.

I can't see another dead, bloated body floating in the water.

I can't think about all the people suffering anymore.

I've had a headache for 2 days now. I've started having nightmares about Katrina and the aftermath.

The victims need out help. But, there's only so much I can do.

Just one day of peace. That's all I am asking.

Rhetorically speaking

2005-09-01T08:06:00.000-04:00

Of all those untrue, hateful things that you say when you are mad, what percent are actually true?

Why do dogs eat their own shit?

Why are old men 'distinguished', but old women are 'hags'?

What if there is a hell, and it is where we are right now?

What makes some men like the smell of their own farts?

Why do most women have one breast that is bigger than the other?

Why is it that the scum of the earth can be found at two places: the county fair and walmart?

What does it mean when I love Walmart?

Other than age, what defines a person as an adult?

Why should I be a responsible adult when a large part of the world today isn't, and I end up having to deal with it or pay for it?

Why is it that people today are only humble and polite when a tragedy occurs, but the rest of the time they act like assholes?

Is love an emotion or an action?

What makes me afraid to question authority?

Why do I keep asking myself questions that I will never have answers to?

I won't wear white shoes after Labor Day

2005-08-31T09:12:00.000-04:00

While in the bathroom, I noticed that my red Victoria Secret panties have tiny white snowflakes on them.

And I can't help but wonder: Is it a fashion faux pas to wear holiday themed under-attire during the "off" season?

Random thoughts and ramblings

2005-08-31T08:08:00.000-04:00

I've had little time to myself lately, and blogging hasn't been a large priority of mine since Buster came into our lives. I have a couple of posts brewing in my head, but they are nowhere near the point of publishing. So, today I bring you the random thoughts that have been going through my head the last few days.

I never knew how much a puppy could run your life. I imagine this is what it's like to have kids, only much easier.

I'm reconsidering kids at this point. (just kidding. or am I?)

I need to give more attention to my kitties. If only they would come out from underneath the bed...

Going to settlement on our refinance today. Half day of work for me!

I am guessing I will have to sign my name 31 times this afternoon. And so will Hubby, and then he is going to complain that his hand hurts.

When I got home from work yesterday, Buster was playing outside. When he heard me call his name from about 25 yards away, he came racing towards me at a speed I didn't know his little legs had. I bent down, and he jumped into my arms and gave me puppy kisses. Just the thought of that makes me smile.

Labor Day weekend is coming up. I am hoping to take Buster to the Lake (Lake Anna) and teach him how to swim.

Labor Day weekend! No work on Monday!

Buster discovered my ears and earrings last night. He almost gave me that second hole that I have been too chickenshit to go get.

All I can think about these days is Buster.

In this post, I have said 'Buster' 6 times already. I'm such a pushover.

Hubby and I's one year anniversary is coming up (Oct 30) and we are taking a week's vacation. But we are unsure of where we want to go yet. Any suggestions?

I wish my kitties knew that I still love them with all my heart.

Kris and I are concerned about Tao. Are you out there, Tao? Silently listening? Just let us know you are ok.

Hubby is going to Pittsburgh this weekend to see a baseball game and then the ND vs. Pitt college football game. Lucky duck.

LESS THAN ONE WEEK TIL COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Virginia Tech opening day: Sept 4, 7:15, at NC State.

The nervous mother

2005-08-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

I feel like the mother who has just gone back to work and left her newborn baby at daycare.

It's killing me that Buster is at home, alone in a doggy kennel.

He cried terribly when I put him in the kennel this morning. After a long night in there to start with, the last thing he wanted to do was go back in there.

I want to rush home and play with him. I want to cuddle and hold him, let him give me little puppy kisses, and take him to the park so he can run.

He's wrapped his little paws around my heart, and all I want to do is take care of him.

Oh, I miss my puppy.

Welcome Buster!

2005-08-28T17:52:00.000-04:00

Name: Buster
Age: 8 weeks
Race: Blue Heeler/Shepard Mix
Weight: About 3 pounds, 1/3 the size of Val
Eye color: Brown
Likes: Eating, sleeping, peeing on Mom's blue rug, my "Booda" stuffed teddy bear, my rope tug, and chewing fingers
Dislikes: My crate, sleeping alone, and the hair dryer

OCD, Blogger Style

2005-08-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'm obsessed with blogging. I've named it OCBD- Obsessive Complusive Blog Disorder. I'm not addicted to blogging, you see. I'm obsessed with my blog. Let me explain.

Every day I intentionally look for things to blog about. My mind is always working: How can I use this on my blog? Is this interesting enough to tell the world? How can I put a comical spin on this bad situation? How can I effectively communicate this feeling with the world?

It takes me a few hours a day to compose a post. Sometimes I start writing days before I actually post it. This is an example. I started writing this post on Monday (8/22). I've drafted it twice, and probably a million more times in my head.

My daily routine starts with my mind on my blog. What should I write about? Am I going to finish that draft today? The whole 1.5 hour commute to work I think about my blog. I draft my post in my head in the car, and taking a cue from Kim, started to carry a notebook to jot down ideas that pop into my head when I'm not near a computer. At work, I surf blogs for hours at a time, getting ideas and starting new posts in my head, or drafting a few in Blogger. I take pictures solely for the purpose of posting them here. I feel like such a nerd sometimes, but it's all in hopes that one day I will have that one amazing post. The one that knocks their socks off. Like the posts Kris writes everyday.

Wow, I just realized how pathetic I really am.

I think I need professional help. "Doctor, I am obsessed with blogging. It's effecting my whole life. And I can't stop."

Though, I may have a shot of coining the term OCBD. I do have a degree in psych. Hmm, I feel a research paper coming on.

Is it just me, or do you all have symptoms of OCBD too?

Applying Gandhi to traffic

2005-08-25T07:12:00.000-04:00

My biggest pet peeve on the road is people who cut in a line of cars who are waiting to turn or merge. The only excuse for it is if the person truly didn't know that the lane was turning/ending, in which case it is ok to let them in. These people are easy to spot. The have confusion written all over their face, and they are hesitant on what to do next.

It's the people that deliberately cut in line that piss me off. Cutting in line causes the flow of traffic to stop, and thus people have to wait LONGER. The whole line of people had to wait, and so should everyone else. Nothing says you are special enough to cut in line. Wait like the rest of us, asshole.

On the commute home yesterday, one of these deliberate cutters tried to get in front of me in a turning lane. He put his little mid-80's style Toyota Camry in front of my car, and proceeded to wave is hand at me to get my attention.

He pointed in the small space between my bumper and the rear bumper of the car infront of me, with a inquisitive look on his face that said "Can I cut in?"

The nerve!!! In a split second, I ran through options on how to handle this. I could flip him off. I could yell "Get to the end of the line, asshole!", or similarly "Fuck you!".

But instead, with Gandhi like strength, I calmly shook my head, side to side. SLOWLY. And passively mouthed the word "No".

In a fit of rage, he threw the car in reverse, and cut off the car in front of me instead.

I think it pissed him off more than the bird or "fuck you" would ever have accomplished.

This will be stuck in your head all day.

2005-08-24T07:18:00.000-04:00

Even if you aren't a cat person, if you don't get a chuckle out of this, you are DEAD to me.

Watch "Kitty Cat" Movie

Travis now sings this around the house. And makes the cats dance to it.
My poor kitties.

Bear Kitty and the Half-Blood Tampon

2005-08-24T07:00:00.000-04:00

If official. My cat loves tampons.

Not the used ones! The brand-spankin' new ones. With the crinkly outside wrapper. He prefers Playtex Ultra-Glide.

I laid a couple of tampons on the vanity this morning to stick into my purse when he decides he wanted to play with one. I take it from him a couple of times, put it in my lap, but he would just grab it back from me.

That's when I said "What the hell" and just let him play with it.

Next thing I know, he takes the thing into his mouth like it's a bone and leaves the bathroom.

intrigued to what he was going to do with it, I chase him down the stairs. He jumps on the coffee table and goes to town. Chewing it, throwing it in the air. When I finally stopped laughing my ass off at him (it is a tampon, for christsake) I grabbed the camera.

I just couldn't wait to show you.

Continued here.

Ok, so maybe you had to be there.

Best in College Football

2005-08-23T12:29:00.000-04:00

Rivals.com names Virginia Tech's Lane Stadium the "Best Home Field Advantage" in college football.

Just bring it!!!!!

***Kris, FSU #9.***

Is summer over yet?

2005-08-23T07:30:00.000-04:00

There is something about the Fall that I just love. It has a certain romance to it. The leaves change colors, the air is crisp, and everything smells like spice. I can't wait to pick fresh apples, go to a pumpkin patch, jump in a freshly raked pile of leaves, and watch college football.

As we begin to transition into Fall, I start to reminisce about the summer and all the memories that I have from it. But this year, it seems that I am wanting to leave a lot of things behind as the seasons change.

With this, I give you the All Time Greatest List of things that I want to leave behind in the "Summer of 2005" (aka The Summer the Gates of Hell Opened in DC).

The neverending Heat Advisory in effect for the Washington DC-Metropolitan area. The Advisory that has been cancelled all of 2 times since July 1st. If I pass out one more time from heat exhaustion, I'm moving to Alaska.
Women who wear capri-cut business suits. Puh-lease ladies. So unprofessional. If you want to show off your calves, wear a pencil skirt.
The Endless-Summer/Neutrogena paint-on tan. Gross. Doesn't look at all natural. I'd rather stare at your pasty white skin, thank-you-very-much.
The tourists. Dear God, the tourists! I think I can put up with the hoards of people if it wasn't so damn hot outside. Seriously people, it's 100 degrees out with 100% humidity. You can't enjoy DC. Go home, and come back in the fall.
Sleeveless shirts. When did they become appropriate business attire? Especially for people that have NO business showing their arms. Come on, ladies. If you have fat, rolly arms with loose skin, don't wear sleeveless shirts! I don't care if it's 100 degrees out. I don't want to have nightmares about your pit-stained underarms and your burgeoning arm fat. Wear a jacket, for g-d sake! (I would like to say that I am one of the above ladies that cannot wear sleeves clothes. It's not an insult, it's common sense. Cover up!)
Pregnant women and new moms. I think everyone knows at least 5 people who have had/are having a baby this summer, which includes their sister, brother, best friend, coworker, and mailcarrier. I swore I thought I saw a billboard the other day that said "You aren't cool unless you have a baby". Please let this fad stop asap. Cause I think I will die if I see one more pregnant belly in a too-tight and too-short tank top. You aren't cool just because you are pregnant. Get over yourself.
Anything that has to do with TomKat, BradGelina, BenGar, JSimpson, and Britney's FederSpawn. Enough. Said.
Since when did "Hollaback Girl" become the national anthem for the summer? If I hear Gwen Stefani sing that song one more time, I'm going to gouge out my ears with b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
Those singing/dancing reality competition shows. Ugh. So overdone. Ballroom dancing? You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. I'll be so glad when The OC starts again.
And lastly.... Did I mention the heat? I don't ever remember a summer this hot in DC. EVER. It's roasting, and it's humid. If one more person calls it "dry heat", they will suffer.

I'm so very ready for summer to be over.

The countdown begins...

2005-08-22T12:27:00.000-04:00

As of yesterday:

2 more weeks until Hokie Football!

Sunday, September 4. 7:15pm. NC State vs. Virginia Tech.

LET'S GO HOKIES!

I've been tagged!

2005-08-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Bridg and SFO! Guess there's a first time for everything!

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

Start and raise a family
Go to Germany and see my father's birthplace
Learn to ride a motorcycle
Own a house on the water
See Virginia Tech win a National Championship
Go on a cruise
Get a Master's Degree

Seven things I can do:

Waterski
Kneeboard
Play Texas Hold'em poker
Write a research paper
Referee a soccer game
Scrapbook/Stamp/Cross stitch/most all crafts
Make a bridal bouquet

Seven things I can't do:

Wakeboard
Drive a boat
Make everyone happy, so I just piss them all off instead
Use a sewing machine
Hold a snake
Eat pork chops, veal, or lamb
Go into the room where my brother died

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:

Eyes
Sense of Humor
Ability to laugh at himself
Good kisser
"Big Teddy Bear" build (broad shoulders/big arms and chest)
Thinks about others before himself
CAN NOT be a UVA fan!

Seven things I say most:

Yikes!
Oh my God!
Holy moly
Seriously
What the hell is your problem?
Shut up, cat!
I love you

Seven celebrity crushes:

Will Ferrell
Kenny Chesney
Benjamin McKenzie
Adam Brody
Michael Donnellan - Big Brother 6 Contestant
Goldberg (Bill Goldberg)
The Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson)

Things my cats have taught me

2005-08-19T11:34:00.000-04:00

When life gets you down, find a secluded corner to get away from the world.
There is ALWAYS time for a cat nap.
Loyalty: Whenever you need one, there is always a furry friend by your side.
The art of patience and the power of perfect timing: If you gotta have it, crouch down low and wait..... and wait...... a little longer..... and POUNCE!
The smaller things in life are the most important: Who needs expensive toys when a brown paper bag and a ball of string will do?
A afternoon stretched out in the sun warms your soul.
Do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get what you want: Sit on 'em, grab their hair, and scratch their ears. 'Cause it's time to eat, damnit!
The art of tactfulness: When you are annoyed, don't be hateful. Just stand up, turn you ass around, and walk away. SLOWLY.
Always watch out for the unexpected and stay on your toes: When you least expect it, something could jump out of the shadows and pounce you!
Unconditional Love: You can get mad, angry, and upset with them. But they will always forgive you.

Especially when they need a tummy scratch.

Looking back

2005-08-18T07:56:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about my past. Especially, the last 10 years or so. These are the realizations I have come up with:

I have been a mediocre friend, daughter, and lover.
When people have counted on me, I have let them down.
I haven't remembered the important things.
I haven't always supported the decisions of the ones I love.
I have said many things that I don't mean.
I have hurt people's feelings.
I haven't said "I'm sorry".
I haven't stood up for my friends and family.
I have been selfish.

Life only gives you one chance. And when I am gone from this place, I don't want the people I love to question how much I truly love them. I don't want them to be disappointed in me.

To all my friends and family out there, especially my parents:
I am sorry for the hurt and pain I have caused. It wasn't intentional. And it wasn't because I don't love you.
From now on, I will always be there. NO MATTER WHAT.
I will be all the things you need me to be, because I love you.

I don't want to let you down.

Today's Visual

Wedded Bliss: A Visual

2005-08-17T14:12:00.000-04:00

http://visualmel.blogspot.com/

Updated daily. Enjoy!

Seriously?

2005-08-16T10:24:00.000-04:00

Crickets.

Wednesday Update:
Sorry guys. It's not true. Well, at least Entertainment Tonight says so.

Mel isn't in right now, please leave a message

2005-08-15T08:24:00.001-04:00

Let me just say:
Mel + Tequila = Really Really Bad Idea.

Mom and Chris, Thanks for taking care of me. I love you both so very much. It won't happen again. I promise.

Off topic, but guess who is on DCBlogs today?!?

Where the BBQ flows like a river

2005-08-12T07:09:00.000-04:00

Conversation on the ride to work this morning:
Driver, a large 300+ pound woman talking to passenger in front seat, discussing restaurants.

"We went to Manassas for dinner last night. We passed a placed called "KC's", which is owned by KC Masterpiece. We are going to go there next week because I hear those KC Masterpiece restaurants are really good."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that KC's is a local sports bar, owned by a local businessman, not by KC Masterpiece. KC's has good beer, mediocre atmosphere, and is frequented by many local celebrities such as Prince William County Sheriff Hill and former Redskin Charley Taylor.

Just a local dive bar. It's not KC Masterpiece, lady.

I'd love to be there next week when she shows up... the look on her face would be PRICELESS.

"Where the hell is the pork BBQ?!?!?"

People can be so stupid.

4 years ago...

2005-08-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

I was in a 2 year relationship with a very controlling person. He cared more about his education and career than he did about making a life with me. I would talk about the future with him, and started to see that I wasn't in his plans. I wasn't dealing with the death of my brother very well, and I could feel myself slipping in a deeper, darker depression.

While working at my summer job at a local hospital, I walked past a man in the hallway. He was tall, had broad shoulders, and smoldering blue eyes. He was gorgeous. Fortunately, I knew quite a few people at the hospital (my Mom had worked there for several years, and I grew up with many "second moms" watching over me). At once, I was questioning my surrogate mothers for answers.

When they found out I was interested, it was only a matter of time before we were set up on our first date: A group of coworkers met one night at a local bowling alley for a little Midnight Bowling.

August 11, 2001.

I walked in, dressed to kill in a new outfit. He was standing facing away from me, talking to another coworker. God, his ass looked good.

As he turned, those eyes stared at me, took my breath away. I was hooked.

We talked all night. About the past. About the present. He wanted to know everything about me. And I him. We had an instant connection. Around 1 am, we went to the local IHOP for some breakfast. He sat next to me and put him arm around my chair in a protective fashion.

He drove me home around 2 am. Sitting in his car, outside of my parents home, we made plans to go to dinner and a movie that same night. I was going to see him again, in less than 15 hours!

Hubby,
Four years ago, my life started with that first date. One week later, I knew you were The One, and we started to plan our life together. We spent two horrid years in a long distance relationship, one year of living together, and now almost a year of marriage. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Through our ups, downs, goods, and bads, I love you to the ends of the earth. No matter what, you are my One and Only.

Tim McGraw says it best:
"Better than I was/ More than I am/ And all of this happened/ By taking your hand
And who I am now/ Is who I wanted to be
And now that were together/ I'm stronger than ever/ I'm happy and free"

Happy 4 years !

I love you, baby.
Your Wife & "Turkey"
Mel

Caution: Train Wreck in Progress

2005-08-10T08:18:00.000-04:00

Have you ever witnessed a conversation between strangers and thought, "Wow, this is uncomfortable"? Well, I was said witness this morning.

On the ride into work this morning, I was the slug in the back seat while the male driver and other female slug sat in the front. They start a conversation right away and discover that they are both ex-military. The conversation turns to the topic of military balls, military dress, and the camaraderie between the service men/women. The driver has been married to his wife 31 years. They both miss going to the balls, dressing up. So does the passenger. The female (late 40's-early 50's, tall, thin, short military hair cut. Not very attractive. Think "cat-lady" look. Large bandage covering side of neck.) starts to talk about how she is only friends with people who are in/were in the military. Her best friend (BF) is ex-navy, lives in Georgia, and she would not have ever befriended a person like him if he wasn't military.

The driver nods in agreement. Then it gets personal. And I feel like I am watching a train wreck in slow-mo.

BF is gay. She discusses "Don't Ask. Don't Tell" policy in the military. Not even BF's family knew his secret. She tells the driver that BF is black and that because she has bi-racial children, his family always thought they were BF's children.

[I think that I should mention that the driver is also black.]

Um, can you say "TMI to share with a stranger"?

Driver shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Is only muttering "Um Hum" to the woman. It's obvious that he doesn't want to discuss this. But, she continues.

"My ex-husband is black. You remind me a lot of him. I mean the way you look. Your build is a lot like his. Your facial features too."

Holy shit.

Driver is silent. More shifting. He doesn't like the tone of the conversation, either do I. Does she realize that he isn't interested? Damn, I can read that from the back seat.

We are almost at our destination (finally!) and he unlocks the door for us to get out. We thank him for the ride, he tells us to have a nice day.

I'm still in shock. Seriously.

Are you ready for some football?

2005-08-09T09:46:00.000-04:00

I was going to start this post with a rant about how Preseason Pro Football started this weekend, and how my husband will now turn into the Horrible Football Monster for 5 months.

Monday Night Football last night, people. MONDAY. NIGHT. FOOTBALL.
BEARS vs. Dolphins.
My husband couldn't contain himself (the dedicated fan, our cat is named "Bear").

Did I mention that he is working extra hours to pay for NFL Sunday Ticket on Direct TV?

My husband is a football addict. It's actually more than an addiction. It's an obsession. He's a raving manic football addict. Do they make meds for stuff like that?

And this is where the ranting begins. After football season starts, I loose him to football. Thursday night - College football. Saturday - College football. Sunday - Pro football. Monday Night - Pro football. And then there is the fluke weekday game thrown in here an there. 4 days a week, my husband is CONSUMED by football. Murrr.

But the more I think about it, I would rather him be an addict to football than alcohol, or women, or drugs.

I'll give him a break today. But I can't promise what I will say when mid-season rolls around...

Ikea is for lovers.

2005-08-08T10:25:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I spent the majority of Sunday in a sleepy haze. Around 5, we decided to be productive members of society and actually DO something.

We decided to head to Ikea to look at organization options for our rec room.

While some of Ikea's products are very modern in design, I do find that some of what they have to offer are practical and less pricey.

So, off to Ikea we go. We call the main customer service line before we leave to confirm they are still open; We are told that they close on Sundays at 8. We arrive around 6 and find parking in the front row.

FRONT ROW PARKING, people. This doesn't happen in the DC area.

Excited about our luck, we discuss that this must mean that the store is quiet for a Sunday evening. We get giddy at the fact that we might be one of the only people in the showroom.

Elevators open to the showroom level. And we are in SHOCK.

Ikea is packed. Like a sausage link. Or a fat man in speedo shorts.

Let me just say: Ikea shoppers are VULTURES. They stop in the middle of the isle to look at a display, and leave their huge ass shopping cart (which isn't a cart, but a huge hand truck) in the center of the isle. And no matter what you do, you can't get around it.
Damn people. You are not the only shopper in the store. Move. Your. Cart.

Also, I seem to always get behind the person walking the SLOWEST because they don't understand the layout of the store. Or they just want to take their time. This is when the "move to the right" situation should come in, but doesn't. Do people not understand that slow=right? Seriously, I think there should be a public service campaign for "Move to the Right". Like the "More you know" campaign on Saturday mornings.

And people should not be allowed to take kids to Ikea. They climb on EVERYTHING. And they run EVERYWHERE! When did parents stop looking after their kids? I know when I was little, my Mom held my hand whenever we were in public. If I got away, my ass was grass. No questions.
I think we should reconsider those child-harness leashes. Great idea. I vote them to be MANDATORY in public places.

So, I officially hate Ikea. From now on, I'm doing all my housewares/furniture/home shopping at Super Target.

Preseason Rankings #2

2005-08-08T07:39:00.000-04:00

USA Today's Coaches Poll:

Hokies ranked # 7.

In other NCAA football news, schools using American Indian mascots and imagery have been ruled offensive by the BCS. Schools now are now banned from using these logos/mascots during postseason tournaments.

Will Florida State not play in a BCS bowl this year? Aww, what a shame. (Sorry Kris)

If you call it is a castrated turkey, I'm going to kick your ass.

2005-08-05T07:16:00.000-04:00

What IS a Hokie, exactly?

A Hokie is the official mascot of Virginia Tech. He's one kick-ass turkey that symbolizes the spirit that IS Virginia Tech.

For a more history on the Hokiebird, I quote hokiesports.com:

WHAT'S A HOKIE?
The answer leads all the way back to 1896 when Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College changed its name to Virginia Polytechnic Institute. With the change came the necessity for writing a new cheer and a contest for such a purpose was held by the student body. Senior O.M. Stull won first prize for his "Hokie" yell which is still used today. Later, when asked if "Hokie" had any special meaning, Stull explained the word was solely the product of his imagination and was used only as an attention-getter for his yell. It soon became a nickname for all Tech teams and for those people loyal to Tech athletics. The official university school colors - Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange - also were introduced in 1896. The colors were chosen by a committee because they made a 'unique combination' not worn elsewhere at the time. The official definition of "hokie" is "a loyal Virginia Tech Fan". The HokieBird The bird is a "HokieBird" which has evolved from a turkey. Virginia Tech teams were once called the "gobblers"!

So, there you have it folks. Just in case you were wondering.

Preseason Rankings.

2005-08-04T13:14:00.000-04:00

The Hokies are ranked #10 going into the 2005 season

Here is the list of the Top 10.

Wait. Notre... WHO? (oh, ranked # 48.)

Let the trash talking commence :)

The countdown begins.

2005-08-04T11:00:00.000-04:00

4 more weeks until VIRGINIA TECH FOOTBALL!!

Let's Go HOKIES!

Tailgate Fever. Can you feel it?

Righting my wrongs.

2005-08-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

Dearest Hubby,

You found me. I'm actually surprised to how computer savvy you are... sneaky way of checking those event logs on the computer... you are good. I'm so proud of you! You're turning into a regular computer nerd! Fantasy football, and now this? Wow, babe. :)

So, welcome to my second life. I spend HOURS upon HOURS a day doing this, and I truly enjoy doing it. I have met some great people, virtually that is, that have some really great advice for me. If you got the chance to know them like I have, I know you would feel the same.

I understand your concerns about having our lives broadcast for all to read, especially the intimate details of our marriage, and I respect your feelings. So, as of this morning, I have taken all references to your first name off this site. In everything written, you are only referred to as "Hubby" or "Husband".

If you don't mind, I would like to continue to use my "nickname" Mel. Yes, I know that my last name is proudly displayed for all to see, but do you know how many "Mel Mullins" there are in Virginia? At least 20. Probably more. Trust me, I looked.

From now on, I won't be so blunt to write about intimate details. That will stay between us. I promise. But, I still would like write about our life together. The funny, the sad, the bad, the happy moments. Some people are really interested in it. I know, hard to believe, but they are! Do you know how many people come to my site on a daily basis? The majority of them I don't even know!

I am also making a slight change to the title of my blog... just for you. We are going to make this work.

I thought about this all night, and I want you to know that I respect you. If that means making changes, I am willing to do that. Please take this as a peace offering...

I love you.
Your Wife

[to my avid listeners out there... I have mentioned Hubby's name on a few occasions. Please help me out here and call him "Hubby" in all comments... I would really appreciate it, and so would he!]

Nothing

2005-08-02T07:48:00.000-04:00

I don't have much to say.

I slept on the couch last night.

I'm very close to having an emotional break-down.

Watch out. WWIII is about to begin.

Untitled

2005-08-01T08:33:00.000-04:00

Those eyes. Staring at me, burning my soul. I have to look away. I still see that man I fell in love with, years ago. No comparison. But now, I can't read you. What are you thinking? Feeling? Do I really want to know?

You put your hand on my waist, briefly. Not long enough for me to read anything from it. You quickly pulled away. But, many moments later, I could still feel the heat of your hand linger. What does it mean? Am I looking too hard for something? Should I assume that it's nothing?

We've both changed. I wish I could be the same person I was years ago. Full of life. Happy. Energetic. Now I'm angry. Bitter. Life has little meaning. You make me want to be a better person. The person you once fell in love with. Can I find that person again?

You make me want to change.

Public Service Announcement

2005-07-29T07:30:00.000-04:00

Come on people. I know you took Driver's Ed. If not, you at least had to pass a driving test.

Just in case you forgot, here's some "quick and dirty" driving lessons. From me to you. Bend over and take it.

LESSON #1: You see that navy blue Ford Taurus coming at you? The one with the sporty black bra? Yeah, asshole. That's me. I want to go OVER the speed limit. No one is in front of you, so move over into the right lane. SLOW=RIGHT, FAST=LEFT. Come on, now. Don't make me flash my lights at you. And if I do, don't brake-check me. You are the one in the wrong lane. GET OVER.

LESSON #2: See those cars in ahead of me? Unless I am the aforementioned slow driver in #1, DON'T TAILGATE ME. I can't go anywhere because there is a line of stupid drivers in front of me. So stay off my bumper. One idiot tailgating will lead to 95 turning into a parking lot. And then you will be late for work. So, do us all a favor and GET OFF MY ASS.

LESSON #3: For the love of God, if there is a line of cars waiting to merge/get into turning lane, DO NOT cut in the line. We all had to wait in this line because of assholes like you that cut off the people in line so that you don't have to wait. BE A MAN. Wait like everyone else. And if it's ME that you cut in front of, you are in for some serious pain.

LESSON #4: If you are a person in the aforementioned line of cars, DO NOT let those asshole line-breakers in. It fucks up the whole process, the line gets longer, and more people will cut. BE A HERO. Don't let them in.

LESSON #5: If you cut me off, I WILL NOT hesitate to blast my horn at you. And flash you the bird. Just take it, asshole. Don't get pissy back, YOU are the one that cut ME off.

FINAL LESSON: I AM the only suitable driver in Northern Virginia. Get off the road. Asshole.

This has been a announcement from the Traffic Emergency Service.
Thank you for your attention. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Say it isn't so....

2005-07-28T09:35:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I did this.

Last night, I wrote Hubby's letter of intent to the Career Advancement Board at his work.

I've never B.S.'ed a paper so well in my life. Watching inmates clean up debris from Hurricane Isabel? Yeah, that's "leading a Natural Disaster Relief and Recovery team". Volunteering as an victim at a mock-small pox outbrake? "Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) Training".

I feel like the mother who just did her child's book report for him.

I'm such a sucker.

Say Cheese

2005-07-27T09:40:00.000-04:00

I attempted to take the Kitties picture this morning during the morning routine. My goal was to snap a shot of one of the little darlings taking a quick snooze in the sink.

We do the routine EVERY MORNING. Without fail. Even on the weekends.

But not THIS morning. I got out the camera to take a picture, the cats turned away from me. I put the camera away, and they stared at me. No sink diving. No toothbrush sniffing. No shower jumping. They just stared. I had just fucked up their whole morning.

It was like they knew I wanted their picture. Like they knew I was going to post their shots up on the web, for all to admire. And they didn't want any part of that.

Sneaky bastards. They are much smarter than I give them credit for.

Can you handle this much cuteness?

2005-07-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Bear, during our morning routine, watches me put on makeup.

Val on left, Bear at top. Cuddling up for a mid-day catnap.

It's good to be a cat.

Someone searched for 'Jesus' on my blog yesterday

2005-07-26T07:30:00.000-04:00

I felt compelled to respond to yesterday's comments on a separate post.

I appreciate everyone's concerns. But we have known for some time that my husband and I are having rough times. Thus, the creation of my blog. We are working it out, day by day, but we hit rough patches every now and then. This weekend was a serious rough patch.

I have talked to my husband about my concerns. We discuss our relationship issues daily, if not hourly. Talking is only half the battle. He knows how I feel about his actions this weekend.

I was married in Las Vegas, by Minister Jerry at the Monte Carlo Hotel and Resort Wedding Chapel. Needless to say, I cannot speak to him about these issues. Nor do I attend church. I have very strong convictions about religion, especially since my brother passed away, and I do not talk about that on my blog. Nor do I talk about politics. I talk about relationships, living in Metro DC, and cats. I talk about cats a lot.

This blog is a means of therapy for me. I have dealt with a lot of serious issues in the last few years, and this is a means of helping me cope. I have met some FANTASTIC people as a result, and they are the best support that I could ever ask for right now. Blogettes, you know who you are. Thanks. For everything.

Everything on this blog is nothing that I wouldn't share with my husband. Or my family. Actually, most everything that I post is a result of some conversation that I had about it with my husband. Don't think that I am secretly hiding my feelings from him. Oh, trust me, he KNOWS how I feel. Like I said, I use this as a means of therapy. The comments that I receive from my daily readers helps me put things in perspective, and gives me advice that I wouldn't necessarily think of. I can't thank them enough for all their support!

I appreciate everyone's comments, even from those who are first time readers. I just wanted to set the record straight.

If you are out there....

2005-07-25T07:34:00.000-04:00

You know who you are...

Thanks again for the great talk last night.

You don't know how much it means to me that you remembered the things you did.

I wasn't able to sleep much last night. Remembering all the great memories... We had some great times. Please don't ever forget.

Eight years is far too long for things to go unsaid.

Don't be a stranger.

When will it ever get better?

2005-07-25T07:30:00.000-04:00

So much for the date on Saturday.

My husband is so selfish. We had planned on going out on the motorcycle for the day, possibly up to the mountains (special place for us). Instead, he went out with his buddy (his "brother-from-another-mother", cousin D) on the bikes for an hour or so, and then played poker the rest of the night with a group of guys. I, on the other hand, was talked into watching my "nephew", D's son, because his wife is out of town and they couldn't hang out with the guys unless the nephew was taken care of.

[I had agreed to watch nephew that evening while they played cards, only if Hubby took me out on the bike. Looks like I am the only one who keeps my word. So much for character, huh?]

So, as it turns out, I didn't see my husband at all this weekend. And that just suits him fine.

When I am going to matter to him? I sometimes wonder if it's going to take me walking out for him to realize how special I really am.

I deserve better than this.

Update on the Hubby

2005-07-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, I am reading the last few weeks posts, and I realize that I haven't said one iota about the Hubby.

Wedded Bliss? Obviously.

Actually, I haven't really seen Hubby in about 3 weeks. He is working nights right now, so we are a lot like ships passing in the night. Last week, he took 5 days off to drive to Indiana to see his family, while I stayed home. I saw him Monday evening when he came home, for about an hour before I tucked into bed, exhausted from the conference.

He still working nights. And will be for at least another 2 weeks.

Good news, we get to spend Saturday together (maybe?), but he is working for most of Sunday into the night, catching all those bat-chewing, blood drinking, devil worshiping criminal masterminds.

Oh wait, it's just Ozzfest? My bad.

The greatest sound I ever heard

2005-07-22T07:34:00.000-04:00

Do you know how something as small as a smell or a sound can make you feel... blissful?

It's like hearing my child's cry for the first time. Every time I hear it, I feel calm. I imagine this is how a parent would feel when their baby wraps a small, wrinkly hand around their finger. It's pride, love, and contentment wrapped together.

This is how I feel when I hear my kitties purr.

My youngest cat will purr if you walk into a room. She is so excited, so happy to see you that she instantly begins to tell you. She LOVES the company of people (which is not typical of cats) and could not survive if she was a solitary creature. She depends on my presence and love for her happiness, her security. She is as loyal as a dog, and as affectionate. Her purrs whisper to me "I love you".

My oldest cat hardly ever purrs. The only time I ever hear him purr is when I am sleeping. He will crawl onto my pillow, bury his head into my hair and knead my scalp with his paws. This is what he used to do as a kitten, and has continued as an adult. The feeling of his paws, the faint sounds of his purrs put me into a dream-like state, and I drift into a deep sleep quickly.

This morning, during our normal routine, my oldest cat watched me put on my make-up. As I apply eye shadow, he focuses intently on the end of the shadow brush, watching it sway back and forth as I apply. I begin to tease him with the end of it, the shiny silver metal mesmerizing him. This game beings to turn into a gentle taping on his nose, which turns into a taping on his head, which turns into me stroking him on the top and sides of his furry cat head with the brush. His eyes roll back into his head...

And he begins to purr!

My heart swells. I love these kitties so much. Their little furry tube-sock paws are wrapped around my heart. And they know it.

Whoa, you guys rock!

2005-07-21T07:23:00.000-04:00

I'm back from the Conference From Hell. Back to the Grind.

I see you missed me (yay, I have friends!) and let me just say...

DITO

It's so strange to stop reading the day-to-day of you all; I don't think my days can be complete without stalking (yes, Kris and Tao, STALKING!) each one of you. It's like Diet Coke for my mind...

I'm going to catch up on each of your posts today. Then I will get to updating here.

Leave a message after the BEEP

2005-07-18T08:34:00.000-04:00

I'll be out of commission for a few days - at a conference for work.

If I can get access, I'll be checking up on you guys and commenting.

Play nice and behave while I am gone.

I'll be back on Thursday!

Open Letter to my Driver

2005-07-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

To the nice European gentleman in the Mercedes-Benz that drove me to work this morning:

Please don't talk to me in the morning. I haven't had my Diet Coke yet, because I am a considerate person. I don't want to spill anything on your fine leather interior (or any other driver's car interior), so I will wait to get to work before I indulge in this fine caffeinated beverage. Until I get my Diet Coke, I will be a grumpy mess. So, don't try to talk to me. Seriously.

Yes, the traffic in the morning is horrendous. But, this isn't Europe. We aren't in Germany, and we don't have an Audubon. I understand that there isn't any traffic on the Audubon because there isn't a speed limit. Please don't compare DC to Germany. Traffic laws here are nothing like those in Germany. DC traffic is a fact of life. Get used to it. Seriously.

Cars in the right lane are passing traffic in the left lane. Don't point it out to me, I can see. Please don't get into the right lane when the left lane is slower. The minute you do, traffic in the left lane will speed up. It's Murphy's Law. Do they understand Murphy's Law in Europe? Just pick a lane and stick with it. Seriously.

Please be courteous to your fellow Slugs. Don't talk. Don't compare. Don't weave in traffic.

Sound simple? I thought so.

Thank you for your attention.
-A disgruntled Slug

It felt "Sex and the City"ish

2005-07-12T08:30:00.000-04:00

I had dinner with 3 fantastic ladies last night.

We are the "us" in a world of "them". They are my sisters-in-arms. The ones with whom I have suffered with. We were in the trenches together. Most of us have made it out alive.

We left one of our sisters on the front lines.

Susie, Eileen, Briar Annie, and I worked together at PWH together. We suffered greatly in our positions at the hospital. We were put down, stomped on, and shit upon. And when we were down, they brought out the big guns and blew us away. The majority of our group moved on from the carnage of what was.

The beautiful Briar Annie was left behind.

While sitting at dinner , listening to her describe the continuing massacre, I felt guilty. The four of us banded together when times were tough, and we got through it with humor. Now, there is no more humor. Briar Annie is left to suffer without us, without the diversion we created for each other. She smiles no more.

I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Partly, it's my fault that I left her with someone incompetent to do my job, so most of the work is now her responsibility. I'm so sorry, my Briar Annie. I never would wish that upon anyone, especially anyone with as good of a heart as you.

To Susie, I'm glad that the world is bringing you to a better place. You worked hard to get where you are, and you certainly deserve it. I miss our lunches together, our "excessive chit-chat". And Bear and Val miss stories about Nikki. Don't forget about us.

To Eileen, I'm so glad you moved on. You were treated as if you never worked a day in your life, much less that you are a very successful woman. Run a meeting? You mean you can do that? Enjoy your time at home with the kids. And don't pull your hair out.

To Briar Annie, hang in there. You deserve better. I'd never abandon you, even though I don't work there anymore. I feel your pain, truly. Remember the good times, because one day you will have that again.

I can get you a great job as a Border Patrol Agent... No? Yeah, can't really blame you.

We have put down our battle swords, but we are still sister-in-arms. We still fight for one who was left behind... and each other.

Ladies, dinner again soon?

Shhhh, the Baby's Asleep

2005-07-11T14:48:00.000-04:00

My cats are creatures of habit. They like to do the same thing, every day, at the same time each day.

In the morning, my cats have a ritual with me while I am getting ready for work in my bathroom. We do this every. single. morning. It usually starts when I get out of the shower. Both of them jump in as I am trying to get out. They watch the water drip from the walls, faucet, shower head. And they try to catch them. But instead it looks like they are trying to attack the inside of the shower.

Next, they sit on the vanity while I brush my teeth. One wants to play in the water, the other one is facinated with my toothbrush. He actually reaches towards it so he can "sniff" it. Yep, smells like a toothbrush. Proceed.

Then, I put in my contacts. After I dump out the left-over contact solution into the sink, Bear will get into the sink and lick the remaining contact solution off the drain. Gross.

Next, I start to dry my hair. One kitty leaves the bathroom because the noise scares her. The other sits on the vanity and watches me in amazement.

But this morning, he didn't watch me in astonishing wonderment. No indeed. Instead, the white noise from the hair dryer put him to sleep. Just like a baby. So there he is, sleeping standing up, on my bathroom vanity. All of a sudden *THUD* he falls into the sink.

Out like a light. Curled up in the sink. Cutest thing I have seen in my life.

And people wonder why I love my cats so much.

Sea Doo GTI LE RFI

2005-07-11T14:17:00.000-04:00

I bought my Sea Doo as a graduation gift to myself (and Hubby) in the summer of 2003.

Now, it stays at my parent's Lake House. I try to get down there as much as possible. It's a beautiful place, and the lake is amazing.

And so is my Sea Doo.

In case you were wondering.

Happy Monday

2005-07-11T11:15:00.000-04:00

It's Monday.

I've never wanted a glass of wine so bad in my entire life.

Hope you are coping with it a little better than I am.

If not, I'm going to have a little pick-me-up at lunchtime. You are welcome to join.

Rain Rain, Go Away

2005-07-08T10:40:00.000-04:00

The commute into work this morning was Terrible. With a capital 'T'.

Total downpour. I slugged it this morning, so I had to wait outside for a ride. I used my hubby's golf umbrella, but my ankles/feet got soaked in the mini-flash flood through the parking lot.

Thank God for my Nike sandals.

If that wasn't enough, it took me almost double my morning commute today because of the rain.
I'm grumpy. I'm tired. And I was late to work.

TGIF.

Let's hope for a nicer weekend.

The Name Game

2005-07-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

I've been at my new job for about 3 months now. At work, I went to the division's calander white board to mark my days off for all to see. I put my initials up on the squares for every other Monday for the duration of 4 months.

My coworker just walked up to me and asked "Hey, what is your last name?"
My last name is on my cublice wall, in plain sight.
Just in case he was illiterate, I reminded him. "Mullins"
"Did you put 'MS' up on the leave board?"
"Um, yeah. " I retort, sounding much like a 16 year old.
I pause. What the hell is he talking about? I mean, my initials are MS....

"Oh. Shit."

I've been a newlywed for 9 months. But I still can't get this whole name change thing down yet.

I should have just kept my maiden name.

Thoughts of 9/11

2005-07-07T07:25:00.000-04:00

On 9/11/01, I was a junior in college. Even though I was 300 miles from Washington, DC, I was still terrified. My parents and boyfriend (now my husband) were only 25 miles from the Pentagon when it was attacked.

Now, I am an employee for the Department of Homeland Security (US Customs and Border Protection) and work at Headquarters in DC.

I am across the river from the Pentagon. I am 2 blocks from the White House.

Today's terrorist attacks in London have shaken me a bit. Visions of The WTC Towers collapsing have been running through my head all morning. As we drove by the Pentagon, I looked at the rebuilt walls and could vividly remember the burning building, the large flag draped over the side.

I'm scared. I know that I shouldn't be. I shouldn't live in fear.

But for the first time since 9/11, I am terrified of the unknown.

To those in London: our hearts are with you.

To all of you out there: please be safe today.

As for me, I am keeping a watchful eye out. And will try not to have an anxiety attack.

I Live in a Slug World

2005-07-06T08:50:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I live in Northern Virginia and work in Washington, DC. Therefore, I have to commute daily to work. My daily commute round trip is usually 2.5-3 hours, depending on the traffic situation. Due to traffic constraints, I "slug" to work.

Slugging: a term used to describe a unique form of commuting found in the Washington, DC area sometimes referred to as "Instant Carpooling" or "Organized Hitchhiking". Commuters get to work by accepting a ride from a stranger who requires one or more extra passengers to legally qualify to drive in a high occupancy vehicle lane (HOV-3). Drivers pick up slugs at designated "slug lines", usually at commuter parking lots and bus stops. No money is exchanged in this type of commuting; both parties are mutually benefited.

It has come to my attention that there are many categories of Slugs and Drivers. Here is what I have witnessed in my 3 months of being a slug:

Slug Drivers-

The Anti-Social: driver who does not speak to slugs, only acknowledges their presence. Usually leaves the radio station on one station, has temperature settings at a consistent level.

The Talker: social driver. Starts conversation with slug seated in passenger seat, tries to get back passenger into the conversation. Usually changes the radio station frequently, and asks the slugs if they are comfortable with the car settings.

The Anal-Retentive: much like the Anti-Social, but adheres to all driving regulations and unofficial slugging etiquette. If slug does not adhere to etiquette, driver becomes noticeably irritated, but does not speak to the slug about the behavior.

The butt-clenched Anal-Retentive Bitch: much like the Anal-Retentive, but when etiquette is not adhered to, driver barks orders at slug until they adhere. Tries to demean slug as a way to teach a lesson. [Ex: Driver-"Do not touch my air vents." "I will not leave until ALL seat belts are buckled"]

The Evangelist: driver who listens to Christian talk/contemporary Christian rock radio at a exceedingly loud level. An attempt to convert slugs in the car to "come to Jesus".

The Politician: much like the Evangelist, driver listens to political talk radio and tries to converse with slugs regarding controversial political issues. Driver attempts to have live political debate in the car. Slug most likely arrives to destination feeling offended.

The Unaware Deaftone: driver who keeps radio fade to the rear speakers of the car. Increases volume of the radio so that he/she can hear it. Deafens the slug in the back seat due to loud volume. Slug then suffers from ear ringing, headache, and possibly loss of hearing.

The Most Popular: driver who has the most popular of everything. Best car. Best radio. Best clothes. Driver tries to talk to slugs, but is frequently interrupted by his/her cell phone calls, blackberry pages, and text messages. Carries multiple conversations at one time. Radio at constant loud level of popular music. Unsafe driver, slugs are lucky to get to destination in one piece.

The Old Man/Old Lady: driver who stays at a constant speed throughout the trip. Whether it's in a 65 or 35 zone, you can count on the driver going 30 mph. Slug arrives to destination 45 minutes to 1 hour later than expected.

The Revealer: much like the Talker, driver reveals very personal information to slugs. [Ex: Driver- "I had to go to the morgue and identify my daughter's burnt body". This conversation really happened to me]. Slug arrives at destination screaming "TMI!".

Slugs can get very lucky and get a combination of any of the drivers listed above. As you can see, the Anti-social or the Talker are the most preferable of all drivers.

Slugs-

The Living Statue: slug who does not move while in car. Does not speak to either driver or passenger/slug. Greets drivers with "Hello" at the beginning of trip and "Thank you" at the end of the trip. Adheres to all unofficial slugging etiquette. Will "deal" with all car controls (ie, temp, volume, seat position) regardless of how uncomfortable he/she is.

The Talker: slug who either initiates or responds to driver conversation. Adheres to slug etiquette. Asks permission for changes in temperature, radio station, and seat position.

The Rule Breaker: slug who breaks all rules (unofficial slug etiquette). Talks on cell phone, touches all car controls, eats in car, does not buckle seat belt. Can cause irritation in driver and other slug/passenger. May result in driver becoming a butt-clenching Anal-Retentive Bitch (see above).

Personally, I am a cross between a Living Statue and a Talker, depending on the day.

I come across most of the personalities on a daily basis. Don't you wish you were me?

Eau-de-Penny

2005-07-05T08:30:00.000-04:00

It is so strange how drama always seems to occur when our family gets together.

I went with my mother this weekend to their lake house for 4 days. It was fantastic. Until the men came.

My Dad and husband came down on Sunday afternoon. My Dad, who began his vacation on Sunday, brought their cat to the lake house with him. Penny is a small calico persian. She is prissy, temperamental, and very moody. My parents call her "the queen". She is an indoor cat, but my parents let her spend time outside during the day.

Sunday night we went to bed fairly late. The air-conditioning was broken in the house, so all the windows were opened. About 4:30 in the morning, Hubby and I were awoken by the sounds of howling.

Hubby got up from bed and walked to the bathroom. I followed behind him to go to the front door and find out what the noise was. I thought it was a raccoon or something. I turned on the light outside and started to look. Hubby came up behind me and said "I think that was Penny."
"No, Dad lets Penny in at night."
"Melissa, that sounded like a cat"
So, I go to the bathroom as Hubby starts "Here kitty, kitty, kitty" in the front yard.

At 4:30 in the morning.

After a minute or so, I walk out of the bathroom and Penny was standing in the hall. Hubby looks at me with this "I told you so" face.
"She was outside"
"Do you think she was in a fight?" I asked.
"Maybe. Let's check to see if she is bleeding".

I pick up the cat. Immediately, I am greeted by the most horrible, rancid, disgusting smell in the history of the universe. I wanted to yak.

Penny had been skunked.

At 4:30 in the morning.
[And Hubby goes back to bed!]

The whole house starts to smell like musky, wet, rancid dead skunk. So, I have to wake up my mother (because I can't bathe a cat by myself) and we find a can of tomato juice. We go to the bathroom, and start to de-skunk Penny. It looks like a scene from a bad horror movie. I have a death grip on the cat, while my mom washes her with tomato. Cat howling ensues. She sounds like she was being skinned alive (which, looked pretty accurate at the time). I think the whole neighborhood is going to wake up from this stuff, but BOTH men sleep through the whole thing.

And let me tell you, dear readers. Tomato juice doesn't do much for eau-de-skunk.

Especially at 4:30 in the morning.

With no other options at the time, we went back to bed. Nostrils burning, noses plugged.

The next morning, we found a website for animal care that suggested a mix of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda mix. After a trip to the store in the middle of nowhere-hickville, we washed her again. More howling and a couple of scratches later, most of the smell was gone.

Ah, the drama. Can't we just have a normal day?

I'm Proud to be an American

2005-07-01T14:45:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

Let's Go Hokies!

2005-07-01T08:20:00.000-04:00

I graduated from Virginia's finest in 2003 - Virginia Tech.

VTsfinest.com opened my last year at Tech with the hilarious "Milk and Cereal" bit (see it here). I was looking on there this morning and found video from the VT/Maryland game at Lane Stadium in 2004.

Why I love being a Hokie.

I literally got goosebumps when I watched this. To the tune of the Hokies Metallica intro song, I could feel myself getting pumped up. I wanted to start jumping up and down - like we did in the stands, like you can see here. I spent four years living for this stuff, and the feelings of my college days came back strong when I watched this.

Hokies are a different group of people. A lot of you out there will not get as excited about this video as I do, but I still wanted to share it. We are crazy, insane, spirited, and LOYAL people. This was a huge part of my life not so long ago... and I still consider myself a Hokie at heart.

Ok, I'm ready for football season to start. LET'S GO HOKIES!!

All I Want

2005-06-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

I need a day of "lake therapy". My parents own a house on Lake Anna, Va, and spend every weekend there. It's great to wake up in the morning to the sun rising over the water, sound of birds chirping, and feel at peace. I can't feel that here in Northern Va. Cars, traffic, angry drivers, horns honking, rude people. The rat race. No thank you. Get me outta here. Take me to the country.

I need a day of "water therapy". I want to swim, boat, jet ski my problems away. Nothing is more exhilarating than going 60 mph as you jump a wave... hangtime feels like hours... wind through my hair as I race up the shoreline. Water showers my face as I take a wave. Ride until my body aches and I am exhausted.

I need a day of "mom therapy". Hours alone with my mom. Relaxing in the sun and talking about.... whatever. Holding hands, cuddling on the couch. Watching a great chick flick. Teaching me something new, learning from her experiences. Nothing replaces that feeling. Nothing ever will.

I need a day of "Hubby therapy". Talking, driving, holding, hugging. Remembering the old days and making plans for the new days. I need a day alone with my husband. I need to feel special to him again.

So looking forward to this weekend... I'm feeling better than I have in weeks. I need to keep up this momentum.

Thanks to all you blogettes out there. You have truly helped me through a rough time - you don't realize how bad it got. But you were there for me with kind words and a shoulder to cry on. An I really appreciate it. Let's hope the good times keep coming!

Ya Heard Me

2005-06-29T12:40:00.000-04:00

That's right. I just ate a entire sleeve of delicious, buttery, melt-in-your mouth fabulous Ritz crackers.

You mean, that isn't a regular serving size?

Change in the Winds

2005-06-29T09:00:00.000-04:00

Things are looking up in Newlywed Land.

Sweet words, happy phone calls, and love notes are being exchanged (hubby is working nights this week), which remind me a lot of how things used to be. I am optimistic. Can't wait for the holiday weekend.

Writing this and reading your comments has really showed me how much marriage can imitate a rollercoaster ride. We're up, then we're down. I'm thrilled, then I'm scared.

But I think that the more I ride, the more I will begin to tolerate the ride, and it won't seem so scary. We're still learning the track of the ride. Let's hope that the ride's Inspector won't change the course on us any time soon.

I woke up this morning with a feeling of relief, understanding, and maturity. I haven't felt that in a long time.

Things are getting better. I see a new "me" in the future. I see a new "us" on the horizon.

The Way We Were

2005-06-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

I want to go back to a time when we were happier. Life was easier. Love was simpler.

Trips to the mountains. Little whispers in my ears. Eskimo kisses on a hot afternoon. Sweaty palms in a passionate embrace.

Back then, we didn't have to "work" on love. Love just came to us. Love was all around us. In your smile, your eyes, your body; I could see it. It was alive. We were alive.

What happened to that feeling in my stomach when you would kiss me? What happened to that feeling in my throat when something was wrong? Was that love? Is it gone? Or are we different?

I want to go back to a time of passion and love. Tell me you can meet me there.

Double the Fun

2005-06-27T08:45:00.000-04:00

Meds are good.

I have a double ear infection. After 3 days of codine and antibiotics, I am feeling better. Hopefully, I will be back to my ol' self again soon.

Summer Cold - Day 3

2005-06-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

If one more person asks me "Oh, are you loosing your voice?", I am going to choke them until they loose THEIR voice.

"Yes, I'm sick", I tell them. "Yes, I know I should be home."
Fact is, I CAN'T go home because I haven't worked long enough to have any sick leave to use.
New jobs suck.

Yesterday, I thought that I was out of the woods. Instead, today is definitely the worst day yet.

Cough. Hack. Sneeze. Moan.

Please indulge me. Complaining about being sick is my therapy for being sick. Let me moan and groan. It makes me feel better.

I could really use a popsicle right now.

Feeling Better ?

2005-06-22T11:00:00.000-04:00

It's times like these that I wish I was back in college.

When I was sick, there was nothing better than skipping class, curling up on my futon and watch soap operas all day. Not only that, but your roomies/hall mates felt bad for you, so they would bring whatever you wanted back from the drugstore/dining hall/movie store (plus they would take notes for you in missed classes).

Good times. Good times.

What do I get now? A commute of 2.5 hours a day, work for 9, and go home in the evening and clean house. No shit. My husband (who, I should mention, is feeling under the weather as well, but not as much as me) needed my help last night cleaning the house because his sister is coming to visit. Not only did I clean for most of the weekend, but I was expecting he would give me a break due to my spiked fever/monstrous head-sinus ache.

I got away with just cleaning my bathroom. Then I took a Tylenol Nightime Sinus and hit the pillow like a brick.

If my sister-in-law has an issue the cleanliness of my abode, I am blaming Hubby.

PS - thanks for the suggestions on remedies.
Kris, couldn't eat anything. I'll try again tonight (though, extra spicy ramen noddles are sounding really good right now).
Tao, I am drinking green tea and popping echinacea caps like it's crack.

Death Becomes Her

2005-06-21T15:30:00.000-04:00

Feeling. Gross. Need. More. Meds.

I've been hit with a summer cold. Just my luck.
In the spirit of fixing our relationship, Hubby and I spent the weekend cuddled up together.
I didn't realize he was sick until he was REALLY sick. Too late to go into quarantine.
Damn husband.

Plus, my sister-in-law will be in town for a week starting tomorrow.. which is awesome, but crappy that I am going to be sick for most of it.

Anyone have any good remedies for head cold/sore throat?

As the tune of "Lean On Me" plays in the background...

2005-06-17T07:00:00.000-04:00

I just want to thank all those bloggettes (and bloggers) out there for the kind words and support over the last few weeks. I have much appreciated the advice that each of you have left for me, and have used it all in the process of fixing my marriage. It will be a long process, one that I hope to share with you all... as your advice and support will help to mend and heal.

And Kris, thanks for missing me. I have missed you all as well. I've been in 2 weeks of training and it has been hard for me to get to a place to write out my feelings... but today is the last day, and I will be back in action Monday morning. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Just an update: things at home are slowing turning around. I am looking forward to working out my issues with Hubby this summer, as there are many distractions that take us away from the house and out for some "play time". Last weekend, we went to my 'rents lake house on Lake Anna, and I was able to take out my Jet Ski for the first time since last August! Rock On! This weekend, Hubby and I are going to try to get out on the motorcycle ... another weekend of beautiful weather on the horizon!

Have a good one, catch up with ya on Monday!

Root of the Problem

2005-06-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

I have figured out the cause of my marital problem:

I am fat, insecure, and negative. I have become the nagging wife I never wanted to be.

The problem is: how do I become that happy, positive, life-affirming beautiful woman I was when I met my husband? My life is such shit right now, I can't begin to dig myself out of it.

I need some support, which is where my hubby should come in. Outlook not good.

Some days I want to go to sleep, and never wake up.

Letter to Husband

2005-06-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

Dearest Hubby,

It has now been 4 weeks. I have become very acquainted with my new friend, whom I have fondly named "Buzzie Vibe". He has been a life saver these long, long weeks.

I just wanted you to know - If I go to bed alone one more night, I am going to go Psycho-Bobbitt on your ass. Just a warning. Put out, or get out.

Note for readers:
I was born, raised, and currently live in Manassas, Virginia. Yes, that's right. Bobbittville, USA. Welcome home!

Revelations

2005-06-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

I have decided that getting married was the biggest mistake of my life, to date.

I long for the days when we were "dating". We were committed to each other then, only there wasn't a piece of paper making it legal. I swear, the paper has doomed this relationship.

When we were "dating" (living together, engaged), life was much easier. He helped me take care of the house. We went on dates. We went to bed together at night. I felt, well... loved.

I feel like I am close to the limit of tolerance that one can withstand in a relationship. I am at the point were I am completely miserable, edge of nervous breakdown. I have tried OVER and OVER to talk to him about how I feel, but it's not working. This weekend, I told him that he was close to losing me.

I don't know what else to do.

The beginning of the end is near. Take cover.

The saga continues...

2005-06-02T11:00:00.001-04:00

My husband got called into work last night, so I didn't get a chance to talk to him about the previous night's ziti issue. But, he was saved for the evening, because we were having left-over ziti for dinner. I would have loved to seen his face for that one.

Lesson for you guys out there... don't criticize your girl when she makes you dinner. Payback is a bitch.

I did feel bad about the food thing last night, so I bought snack cakes for him at the grocery store yesterday. He has thing about eating snack cakes. He'll be so excited when he gets home.

I'm such a sucker.

Fountains

2005-06-01T11:28:00.000-04:00

There is something about water fountains that just...

soothe me.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you

2005-06-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Last night, I made baked ziti for dinner. I actually made it ahead on Sunday night and called my husband on the way home to ask him if he could put it in the oven to warm up. When I walked in the door, the house smelled like italian. Yum. Hubby mentioned that he was very hungry.

I fixed two plates of food and set them on the table, then called Hubby to come to dinner. When he entered the kitchen, I was already sitting down at the table, getting ready to eat. He took one look at the plate and gave me a look of disgust.

"What's in that?"
"Food"
"No, tell me what is in the meal."
"It's baked ziti. It's pasta."
"What is in it?"
"What does it matter? It's food. If you are hungry, you can eat what I made. If not, you don't have to eat."
"Well, then fine, I won't eat."

Thanks for being appreciative that I make you have a home-cooked meal every night.

Looks like my cooking days are OVER.

Why the fuck did I get married?

Does the gym have an insurance policy?

2005-05-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

I joined the gym here at work last week. Today is my first official work-out. I'm freaked out. Gyms scare me. I had the worst dream about it last night... here's the gist of it...

I started using an elipical when I broke the foot pedals... they cracked off from the base. The pedals breaking off started a spark, which started a fire, which started the sprinkler system, which fried all the equipment in the gym.

Talk about embarrasing.

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. I guess that's the negative me talking.

WTF?

2005-05-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

There is a rather large black woman in my office a few cubicles away from me. She is, as we speak, praying, in song, at her desk. Outloud. In a room full of cubicles.

"I will glorify His name, praise Jesus."

You have got to be shittin' me.

My outloud prayer song: "THANK. GOD. IT'S. FRIDAY." Sing it with me.

The Newlyweds

2005-05-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

The hubby and I are having issues. Our first year of marriage has taken a toll on us. It's not as easy as it looks, or as we hoped it would be. Of course, we knew it would take work, commitment, and communication. We are very much dedicated to each other emotionally. But it's just not working.

I would like to be able to blame it all on financial problems. A majority of our arguments are for this reason. Money right now is tight. We bought our house right before the wedding, and it has been hard to adjust to making a rather LARGE mortgage payment every month. It's a good investment in the future, but it is a drain on our wallet and relationship in the present. Quick fix solution: I'm buying a powerball ticket on the way home from work today.

But seriously, I could handle all the financial problems right now if I knew that my husband appreciated me. I feel taken for granted. Is that normal for someone to feel that way so early-on in a marriage? You expect it after some time, but only after 8 months? Aren't we still supposed to be in the "honeymoon" phase? And because I am inherently negative, it makes me think that for some reason I am not good enough for him. I'm not the girl he met and fell in love with four years ago; Is the person I am now someone he would rather not be with? What's wrong with me? Is it me at all? It's sad that I frequently say that we act more like roommates and not enough like husband-and-wife.

I have no idea where to begin tackling all our issues. Therapy? Separation? How do I make my husband understand how I am feeling? He obviously unaware. When I try to talk to him about it (and use the words that I just shared), he looks at me with a blank stare. Guys, how do I make it more clear for him?

I'm thinking about all this way too much, aren't I?

I'm a slug!

2005-05-26T09:30:00.000-04:00

Because I live in Northern Virginia and work in D.C., I have the pleasure of commuting daily to work. To save on money, I slug to and from work. For those of you not familiar with the term, "slugging" is a form of carpooling in where a car needing additional passengers to meet the required 3- person high occupancy vehicle (HOV-3) minimum pulls up to one of the known slug lines, usually at a commuter lot. The driver calls out the destination, the slug(s) first in line for that particular destination then hop into the car and off they go. Best of all, it's free! All in all, it really a nice experience.

Most of the people I ride with are strangers, so I have a few interesting stories about those that I have rode with. What happened on yesterday's commute home was neither was nice or interesting.

A red sedan pulls up 50-100 feet away from the slug line (major faux pas), where a person who is not in line gets into the back seat. The person (lets call him Joe) calls out "Horner Road" which is my destination. I get out of line and into the front seat with the driver, and realize it is an 80 year-old man. No problem. Some elders are actually kick-ass drivers. Joe says something about "thanks, Dad" and it hits me - Why the hell isn't he in the front seat with his Dad? I mean, seriously, I am uncomfortable sitting here with this Old Fogey and I could be in the back seat alone, feeling comfortable, with Joe sitting upfront with his Dad feeling comfortable... the world would make sense. That was my first indication that the ride home was going to be bad. And by bad, I mean like having my fingers slowly cut off one by one while I watched myself bleed to death.

So, Fogey starts to drive. And we are only going 25 mph. In fuckin' downtown DC! Cars are flashing their lights. People are starting to honk. I realize, oh shit, I died and went to hell.

We finally get on I-95 HOV, and Fogey starts to increase to about 45 mph. Even though traffic is moving at a steady 70 mph, Fogey insists on staying in the LEFT LANE at 45 mph. AHHHHHH! The light flashing and honking continues, and I give the passers-by a fleeting look of forgiveness. I try to tell them with my eyes: "I am sooo sorry. I understand. I'm stuck in this car, too".

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the whole ride, Fogey is making farting noises with his mouth. Yes, sticking his tongue out and making farting noises. Why? I have no idea. Cause it's continuous. Every 5 seconds, he makes a farting sound. I'm not exaggerating here, people. I think Fogey was possessed. Or too old to realize he sounded like he had a bad case of gas. Or maybe he did, and to cover up the sound he just made a fake-farting sound.

An hour later, I arrive to the commuter lot (Mind you, this should have taken 25-30 min, tops). I have another 45 minutes of commuting ahead of me. Sorry people, I had road-rage before I even got into MY car!

This as all made me realize that old senile people should NOT drive. Well, I thought that before, but this experience just reinforces it.

I am going to write to my Congressman. If that doesn't work, I'm just going to start shooting old people.

Work sucks

2005-05-26T08:30:00.000-04:00

Being away from the office for about a week has really showed me how much really does happen here! I started a new job 6 weeks ago. I left the healthcare industry and entered the government. The difference between the two are staggering. Learning from my idol, Dooce, I will not be talking about my current job. That doesn't, however, mean I can't talk shit about my previous job and employer.

I have a few friends left from my old position at our local hospital. We frequently get together afterwork and keep in touch during the week. I got a call from my friend, Briar Annie, yesterday afternoon to inform me on the "going on's" at my former hell-hole. It seems that upper management has informed the office to not speak to my via email or phone.

That's right. Human Resources is on a 'Mel Strike'. All must now boycott Mel.

I know that they can't tell the staff who they can and can't affiliate with afterhours, but damn! Briar Annie told me that they had been "spying" on her... reading her emails and tracking her phone calls. Yes, that's right. They pulled her into a meeting where she was told they "had noticed a lot of emails coming from" me, and that she needed to use discretion in speaking with people and didn't feel like it was positive for the office to affiliate with me.

Cause I am planning to use my forces of self-doubt and negativity to DOMINATE THE WORLD! Muahh ha ha ha. You mean, you didn't know that?

If I didn't think that being me was bad enough, now I am sure. Not only do I for a fact know that people in this world really HATE ME, I also have to worry that if I speak to my friends then they might get fired. Or worse, they may have to put up with more shit that the office does to the peons in the company. Seriously, this really does suck a big one.

She's Back!

2005-05-25T08:30:00.000-04:00

Hi all - I have returned! Thanks for all your thoughtfulness and words of kindness during this time... It really has meant a lot to me.

My hubby is back from Myrtle Beach Bike Week, I'm back at work, and it's almost Memorial Day Weekend... Life. Is. Good.

I'll update on the week's "going on's" as soon as I dig out at work!

In Rememberance

2005-05-18T16:00:00.000-04:00

I am apologizing now for the lack of posting over the next few days. Please forgive me, as I will be bereaving the loss of my younger brother...

My brother died 6 years ago tomorrow. He was only 15.

The loss our family and has suffered over the years has not diminished, if anything the pain is as real and sharp as the day he died. If only he was still here, my life would be so different...

If you knew my brother, please remember him tomorrow. I want him to look down on us from heaven and see all the people who cared for him, all the people that he touched in his life. If you see a butterfly, that is him, showing his love and helping us get through the day.

Miss you, Bro...

Silly Kitties, Trix are for Kids!

2005-05-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

Vermont Neighbor wrote a hilarious comment about the idiosyncrasies of her cats on Kris's blog yesterday. It has inspired me to document those of my cats, which are way too many to post on Kris's comments.

Val, my youngest, sits on the toilet while I take a shower. When I am done, she jumps in to watch the water drip from the shower head. And she tries to catch them with her paw.

Bear has a ritual every morning with me. He sits on the vanity in the bathroom and watches me get ready. He is especially interested when I brush my teeth... he tries to sniff the toothbrush. Hubby says "He needs to inspect it to make sure it's ok to use". He jumps onto the toilet while I dry my hair, and when I am done he likes to lick the faucet in the sink. And the remains of my contact solution on the vanity. He does this every. morning.

Val curls up in the sink in the bathroom right before I try to wash my face. She looks at me with this face that says "ha ha can't wash your face now, mom!". What a joker.

Bear likes to sleep on my pillow at night and "kneed" my scalp with his claws.

Val has to sleep between Hubby and I at night. If she can't get between us, she will wake us up so that we will separate.

To get back at us for going away, Bear will try to pee on our suitcases when we return.

Val jumps up on the kitchen table anytime someone enters the kitchen. This is followed by a loud bellowing meow to get the person's attention, and will not stop until to you go to the table and scratch her.

If you leave a glass of water unattended, Bear and Val will drink the rest of it. By any means necessary. Which includes knocking the glass over.

I am teaching my cats to walk on a leash. Val actually enjoys it.

Val has to be the center of attention. Always. If she isn't, she will find a way to be. If she could talk, her signature line would be "Look at me! Look at me!".

Bear acts stoned. All the time. If he could talk, he would only say "Dude", "Like", and "Whoa".

Bear is Hubby's favorite. And Val knows it. She tries so hard to win his affection. But this usually means acting stupid and knocking/breaking/chewing things she shouldn't. The things girls will do for the attention of a boy...

Bear and Val will sit on the sides of my laptop when I am on it, using the corners of the monitor to scratch their necks and ears.

Bear likes to eat used condoms. No matter how good you wrap it and bury it at the bottom of the trash can, days later you will be cleaning it out of the litter box. (Condoms have been banned from our house after this happened TWICE)

Gross.

Crazy Kitties.